Five Things Leaders Do (and Don't Do) That Undermine Their Respect

In this episode, Marty shares 5 things he sees people doing as leaders that undermines their credibility or relationships with team members. He gives common mistakes that can hold you back in your career or limit the growth of your direct reports to help you notice if you're doing these things and course correct while there's time.

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Episode Chapters

01:27 - Why Respect Erodes

02:20 - Apologies That Disappear

03:31 - Actions Over Words

04:46 - Stop Cancelling Meetings

06:07 - Regulated Leadership Wins

07:49 - Think Through Optics

10:11 - One Change This Week

10:42 - Please Like, Share & Subscribe!

Key Learnings 

"Leadership isn't what you intend. It's what people experience." - Marty Grunder

The Apology That Disappears: The moment you say "but," you erase the apology. No one remembers what came before it.

Action: If you are going to apologize, let it stand alone. Say "I was wrong, I own it, I will handle it differently next time." Then stop talking.

What You Do Matters More Than What You Say: Your team does not follow your declarations. They follow your patterns.

Action: Your calendar reveals your priorities. Your reactions reveal your standards. Your tolerance defines your culture. Your behavior is the real policy.

Canceling Meetings: When you cancel, your team learns that commitments are flexible and that your time matters more than theirs.

Action: If you schedule it, honor it. If you must cancel, do it early, give a real reason, and go to great lengths to reschedule. Spend time Sunday planning your week.

Do Not Let Them See You Sweat: Your team reads your nervous system. If you look rattled, they feel rattled. Your nervous system is contagious.

Action: Vent up, not down. Problem solve across. Reassure down the org chart. Find a spouse, mentor, or peer group member to process with.

Think Through the Optics: People do not judge your intent. They judge what they see. Optics are the receipts of trust.

Action: Before you make a decision, ask yourself: if I were them, what story would I tell about this? Does this match the sacrifice I am asking others to make?

The Core Message

Trust is not rebuilt with speeches. It is rebuilt with consistent behavior that people can see. Do not try to fix all five. Pick one behavior you are going to tighten up this week.

Reflection Questions

1. When was the last time you apologized and then added "but"? What would it look like to let the apology stand alone?
2. If your team only watched your behavior and ignored your words, what would they say your real values are?
3. What decision have you made recently that might look different to your team than it felt to you?

Resources:

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